Halloween

This was a Halloween full of firsts for us all. This was the first year we have taken Kiernan trick-or-treating and the first year I have carved a pumpkin - EVER.

As we don't live in the city, people don't trick-or-treat out here. Usually daycare has this thing where they take the kids through the building and they visit the offices upstairs for trick or treating and then do some sort of parade type thing through the school rooms. I never gave it a second thought. This year though, I thought maybe we should try trick-or-treating and see how it goes. No Halloween is complete without a jack-o-lantern, so we planned to carve a pumpkin as well. A couple weeks ago we went to a local pumpkin patch and got a pumpkin while we were there as part of the entry fee.

In an effort to make Kiernan feel involved, I let him scoop the pumpkin out. The rest was pretty boring for him really. We got one of those pumpkin masters kits and I let him choose the design. He settled on a bat design with lots of small openings, but I hesitantly agreed. It took about 40 minutes, but this was the end result. Not bad if I do say so myself.

I called a friend who lives in town and asked if we could tag along for trick-or-treating. Kiernan was a tiger this year. I seem to sense a theme here. Year one - a lion; year two - a dragon; year three - a tiger (his choice not mine).

At first Kiernan didn't want to wear his costume at all. He had already refused to wear it at school even though all his classmates were dressed up. It was a fight to get it on him that night too. He complained repeatedly until we began the door-to-door knocking. At first he was unsure and shy about it, but as the night wore on he got the hang of it, running up to the doors and ringing doorbells.

I'm sure the three of us were quite the site to behold. As I was barely able to convince Kiernan to wear his costume, I certainly wasn't going to push him to wear the head piece and gloves. So Beosig donned the tiger head and I wore the gloves on my hands.

I wish I had my camera with me because some of those decorations were excellent at the houses we visited. There were a number of them that got these eyes that lit up and blinked and made sounds and tied them into their bushes. It made it look like you were being watched as you walked up the driveway. Neat. Then there was one house that had a giant black spider that was all lit up with green and pink lights and the legs very slowly moved. That freaked Kiernan out a bit and it took some coaxing to get him to go past it.

All in all, a pretty good day, with the added bonus of a ton of candy-booty for Kiernan. 

And The Winner Is...

Ok well I was hopeful, but no, the winner of the photo contest was not me. I didn't even place. I'm ok with that though. However, I'm a little upset about the winning photo. This is a Balloon Classic - it's all about hot air balloons. Would you like to take a guess what the winner's photo was of? No, not hot air balloons, not even remotely. It was a photo of a dandilion gone to seed. WTF?!?!

No, I'm not a sore loser. I am a little pretty upset that the winner had nothing whatsoever to do with the subject matter at hand. Seems rigged to me. I entered a local contest hoping for fewer entries and better odds and that is what they pick? The rest of the winning photos I can see, but that one just ticks me off. If anyone sees why that was the winning photo and understands what the relation is to the subject of hot air balloons, please share because clearly I'm missing it.

Check it out for yourself here.

I'm not discouraged and I will enter again in the future, but I think next year I'll be attending the balloon glo as well. For those not familiar this is an evening event where the balloons are all secured to the ground but they are inflated and they fire up the flames to cast a glow. It is rumored to be spectacular at night and hard for many to photograph as point & shoots don't do so well in low light. Maybe next year they'll have better judges. A dandilion...give me a freakin' break already.

First Photo Contest Entry

I have officially entered my first photo contest. It's the Colorado Springs Balloon Classic Photo Contest. It's a pretty small contest, with fairly small prizes, but I'm excited just the same. Grand prize is a hot air balloon ride for two.

Back on labor day weekend, I got Kiernan out of bed early and we went downtown to watch. I'd never been to the balloon classic but thought it sounded like fun. I had no idea what to expect, so I just packed my camera and a couple of  jackets and off we went.

When we got there, there were so many people that I had to drive around for about 10 minutes looking for a parking spot. I ended up parking in some little neighborhood on the other end of the park, not anywhere near where I had intended. It turned out this was a good thing though!

We got to the park and we were on the end overlooking a pond. The contest was already starting so I found a spot on the ground for us to sit, got the camera ready and prepared. It was a brisk morning for September, and I was very glad to have had the forethought to pack our jackets. We ended up sitting next to this friendly older couple who had been to multiple Balloon Classics and were able to give me some of the details.

Take Off

Beginning the Descent

As it turns out we were in a great location for the take-off. The balloons would take off from the other side of the park, come up over top of the trees towards us, and then some of them would descend to the water, touching the bottom of the basket and then rise up again to go over the trees behind us and beyond. The older couple near us explained that this is part of the contest and it demonstrates control of the balloon. It was awesome! We both had fun, me because I got some excellent photos and Kiernan because hey, what's better than huge balloons for a 2 year old?

Touchdown!

Balloon Over Pikes Peak

 I took over a hundred shots and selected a few for minor cleanup and entry once I heard there was a photo contest. This could be the break I'm looking for. A chance to get my name out there if I am lucky enough to place in the top 3 for the category I entered in. This is a very small contest, and not well advertised, so I'd say chances are actually pretty good. I've included the photos I entered in this post for your enjoyment.

The "Good Mommy"

Most parents I talk to have the same approach to parenting that I do. They take what they learned from their childhood, reading, talking with and observing others and try to improve on it in some way. The end result ideally being a well-behaved, well-adjusted child who respects their parent(s) and has a good relationship with them.

Well, this past Wednesday evening I was getting Kiernan ready to go to an event and as I was putting on his shoes he says to me, "You good mommy". I was struck speechless. All I could do was say, "Aww", and give him a big hug as my eyes welled up and I fought back tears. It was a very memorable moment. I was sure the night couldn't get better than that.

Well, we got to the event and then everything fell apart. Kiernan has been...shall we say, challenging as of late. Pushing as many buttons as possible to see what he can get away with. This night, when everyone else was sitting quietly listening to stories being told or singing songs, he was being a huge distraction to the class. He was climbing under the table, moving chairs around, playing with the door, anything he could do to draw attention to himself. I was humiliated and embarassed. I wanted to leave. Yet I could not as it would cause even more distraction with the sound of the door opening. Attempts to stop Kiernan and get him to sit down and be still were not only ineffective, but caused him to be even louder, drawing yet more attention to himself. AHHGG!. What happened to the sweet little boy who just told me I was a good mommy? I surely left him at home, this is not the same child. I left him to his fooling around under table, amidst glances from other parents which I read as, "Why doesn't that woman control her child better". I felt terrible, ashamed.

Finally class ended and we left. As we left Kiernan threw a final fit, his last hurrah if you will. I picked him up and started to quickly walk to the car where I could get some privacy and speak with him, perhaps scold him in the process. There in the middle of the parking lot was my neighbor who had invited us. I'm sure by this point she was thinking that was some big mistake on her part.

As I walked by holding a thrashing Kiernan by nothing more than his legs draped over one arm and his left arm grasped in my hand to keep him from hitting the ground, she looked right up at me. Oh what a sight to behold I must have been at that moment. Surely my finest moment for all to see. As she started to attempt to have a discussion with me Kiernan was hollering louder and louder. I was left no choice but to tell her I'd be right back to speak with her in a moment. I quickly unlocked the car, put Kiernan right into his carseat and between his thrashes managed to strap him in. As he screamed and cried in his fit-throwing, unable to thrash any longer, I closed the car door and walked back over to my neighbors car to resume our brief conversation and apologize.

The ride home was miserable for both of us. He screamed and cried most of the way, still upset over the night's events. I didn't care, I was upset too, being very displeased with his behavior. I had been made a fool of by an almost three year old. How dare he! I wanted to park the car and walk away. Far, far away, leaving him there for a period of time. Instead, I continued to slowly drive home hoping Beosig would be there to take over when we arrived. The worst part? Kiernan had a Nasty diaper (with a capital N here) to tend to when we got home. How in the hell was I going to do this? Kiernan was beyond consoling and I was not in a mood to do anything with him, let alone deal with cleaning up poop!

I arrived home only to find that Beosig was MIA. Great, what else could happen to make this night worse? I ran inside after pulling into the garage and allowed myself a few minutes to regain my composure before getting Kiernan out of the car. Luck was upon me, for Kiernan was calmed down by this time too, so we were able to resume our regularly scheduled routine including a bath. By the time a half hour had passed we were both laughing and having a good old time. It was perhaps the most memorable day we have shared together, and it was both sweet and "sour" in a manner of speaking. In the end, the "good mommy" came out unscathed, although perhaps with a slightly bruised ego and tarnished image.

The Bed Delimma

I have lost my sense of self! I have no idea where I end any longer and Kiernan begins. How? Let me tell you how.

Recently, Kiernan has developed the habit of waking in the middle of the night. Now that he is older, and no longer sleeping in a crib, that means he will get out of bed and come to our bed. I know there are mixed feelings out there about the family bed. I will say right now I am not a big proponent of it once the child is beyond infancy. There's a good reason for that though.

Kiernan is a bed hog. One would not think that a small 2 1/2 year old could possibly take up much room in a king sized bed, but I cannot begin to express how incorrect this opinion is! That boy could take up the entire bed himself if given half a chance. Forget the fact there are already two adult people in it, he has his ways of manipulating us, even in his sleep so that he can consume as much of the bed as he desires.

Often times Beosig will complain that Kiernan kicked him in the family jewels during the night, sometimes multiple times, in the midst of his thrashing about. The kid will kick covers the off, no need to sit up and pull them back when you flail your limbs about half-hazardly the covers magically disappear. As a side effect of the aforementioned action, a nice gap in the bed is provided as none of the nearby adults care to be within kicking range of those little feet! Kiernan will make the most of this new gap and turn as sideways as possible to fill it. If he feels cramped, repeat said kicking motion at whatever is in the way. Kidneys, ribs, face, it's all good!

Another drawback to sharing our bed with Kiernan is that he loves to play with my hair. ALL. THE. TIME. It is amazing that I am not bald by now as much as he pulls on it at night or runs his fingers through it. Granted, I did not discourage it when he began this obsession with my hair as an infant. At the time it was cute, almost soothing for both himself and me as he nursed. Looking back I almost wish I had discouraged it then, as it wouldn't be an issue now. This kid will play with my hair while he is falling asleep and even while he is asleep. It drives me insane!

We decided to go buy Kiernan a "big boy bed" in the hopes that having a more comfortable bed to sleep in would make a difference. It's bought us another 2-3 hours a night is all. I guess that's closer to the ideal time, but still not perfect. We've tried turning the ceiling fan in his room on thinking it was too hot, we've tried leaving it off thinking he got too cold. We've tried turning on a nightlight thinking he got scared because his room is rearranged and it's dark, we've tried leaving said nightlight off. We've even taken turns going downstairs when he wakes to lay down with him until he goes back to sleep, sometimes falling asleep ourselves. All this to no avail. He seems unable, or unwilling, to tell us what is waking him up at night and without knowing that we can only guess. My latest guess is that he is going through another growth spurt or that he simply gets lonely at night. Although we did put the largest stuffed animal he has - Sully from Monsters Inc. - in bed with him to see if that helped, but no luck.

It used to be that Kiernan would sleep through the night, every night. Unless he was sick, which is an acceptable excuse. Now, he sleeps a few hours in his bed then comes upstairs to join us. I feel as if I have no time alone to recover from the clingyness of this child. I actually went and slept in the guest room one night to have some time to myself. I think it was the most wonderful feeling in the world. Is it sad that I want to go away for a weekend just to not have bodily contact all night long with my own child? That's where I'm at...on the way to insanity!

Under My Skin

Recently, a friend posted a link on Facebook about the ever-increasing cost of daycare. It stated average cost paid for full time daycare is over $13,000 annually. So I posted a reply. I mentioned how much we paid for Kiernan to attend daycare as an infant and that it was over that average and how it was and still is difficult for us to manage this monthly expense, but it is not an option to drop to one income in our family.

The response I got was normal about how underpaid daycare workers are, and I do agree with that, and how society "does not value children". The post following that one said, "if our society valued children there would be no daycares". That one got under my skin in all kinds of ways.

Yes in a utopia kind of environment this would absolutely be true. However, this person can't know everyone's situation. Sometimes this is simply NOT POSSIBLE. What about a single parent home? If they have no trusted family nearby to care for their child then how would they buy food and shelter without working and putting their child in daycare? Let me answer that one, they wouldn't. I guarantee any child support they get, if any, wouldn't pay for it unless the negligent parent was rolling in money. They'd have to sit at home and live off the system. I think you get my point without having to travel this path further.

As most (every?) parent has, we too have made many sacrifices in the name of our child. We may have hesitated on more than one occasion but damit, we did what was necessary at the time. Just because we are a two-income family does not mean we value our child any less than someone who is a one-income family. He is the light of my  life and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Putting our son in daycare was a very tough decision. I had hesitations at first but have grown more comfortable with it over the years.

Sure, I could give up our house, the dreams it represents, and my car and stay at home, but everyone needs to have dreams to keep them going day after day. I refuse to live in poverty in order to support a child. He deserves better than that. I want him to know the things that were out of reach for me as a child. I want him to know that it takes a lot of work on everyone's part to earn the material items that he may take for granted today, but hopefully won't take for granted years from now. Let's not forget the student loans that I am STILL paying on. I'm supposed to give up my career path after all that work to get that magical piece of paper that isn't even paid for yet? Ya right. 

Time

Years ago, I remember I used to make fun of my Grandma, and how she would always comment about how quickly time flies. As a child, time drags its feet eternally it seems. Each day, week, month, seems like double that amount. Frequently finding one's self saying, "I'm bored! There's nothing to do!", is a common place thing. Well no more do I think my grandmother was crazy. I can relate!

I wish I could go back to those days. Not to being a child again, but to where time stops flying by. A mere month ago I wrote how I would have photos to show for the exhibition night this month, but now I wonder if I will even have time to make a selection, let alone do any editing. There has simply been NO time! Work, cooking meals, entertaining a two and a half year old, and then flopping into bed in sheer exhaustion seems to be par for the course this month. Toss in a handful of hours spent tending to the mowing, weed eating, caring for a friend's animals while she is out of town, and a few late nights of work, and that has consumed my month.

I will try to at least select 5 or 6 shots tonight for exhibition night, but I am holding my hopes exceedingly low. Why? So that I don't feel so bad if it just doesn't happen. I have been mulling this choice over in my head for a week and I can think of at least 3 to take with me from my hike from Castlewood Canyon a few weeks back. Still need a couple more.

Over the last few months I have discovered certain things I like to photograph range from the simple, close-up wildflower shot, to dead, scraggly old trees to cloud formations. In particular I have a strong draw to the beautiful storm cloud formations that appear before big, nasty, thundstorms move in. The clouds fascinate me. The power they hold within, the beauty as they build higher and higher into the sky and the light reflects off the sides of them. I can't even put into words the beauty I find in them when they are lit up by lightning from within. Gorgeous. Simply gorgeous. There is a photographer whose name escapes me right now, but who spends his career taking shots of lightning. I want to walk in those shoes one day. To have some of the shots he has taken and claim them for my very own. I will do it, you just watch!

Don't even get me started on the scraggly old, dead trees. Why I am attracted to them I don't really know. Somehow I find beauty in their death. The circle of life kind of thing I guess. Maybe it is because it reminds me how quickly time is passing me by and how I have all these things I want to do before time runs out. That's more likely now that I think on it...

Growth

That is to say, growth not as in the physical sense, but as in the development of skills. Specifically my photography skills. I have been practicing with the new camera for a few months now, and feel my skills have grown and progressed significantly in that time.

Yesterday I attended my third Exhibition Night with my photography club. In past meetings, it seemed people were all but afraid of sharing photos of people. Sure, landscapes are beautiful, old cars are interesting, but without people all of that would either cease to exist or at the very least go unappreciated. I was pleasantly surprised to see a couple of individuals brought photos of people. Some of my better photos are of people.

Some brought photos of wildflowers as well. A few showing said photos were pros. Pardon me while I brag, but I have the same shot as many of them, from different places of course, but same flowers, but in a different and perhaps better angle. I may be slightly biased, but we'll let the audience judge.

I sat quietly by for these three meetings observing what people brought and was admittedly a bit concerned about measuring up to the standards set. No more! After what I saw last night, I feel extremely confident in my skills as a photographer. If anything, what was presented last night has given me the challenge I need to step things up a notch and yes, even dive into editing with Photoshop or other software. I am ready for the challenge, and I have one month to prepare.

I will post the photos once I have selected them and perhaps even a before and after editing version. If I feel brave enough, and if there is enough time, I believe I will try my hand at my very first HDR photo as well. A number of those were shown last night, and while some are ok, others are a little too extreme for my tastes I think. Maybe my opinion will change when it is MY photo with the alterations and not someone elses. We shall soon find out!

Sounds of Spring

Spring is my favorite season. This one has been having trouble getting started due to late snowfall this year. There are certain sounds I love to hear as springtime approaches. I'm missing my camera as it is still in the shop, but thought briefly that it would be a fun project to put together a blog entry that puts sounds into pictures, as much as that is possible. However, lacking that capability, I thought I'd share the list anyway. Perhaps at a later time I can add the pictures and reference the entry.

The rumble of thunder in the distance.
The meadowlarks singing their beautiful songs for a mate, signaling the beginning of spring.
The buzz of a hummingbird's wings as they fly by.
The sound of raindrops softly beating on the window.
The sound of horses hooves running on the rain-softened ground.
The chirp of crickets.
The sound of frogs croaking.
The sound of water runoff after a rainstorm.

These are sounds that remind me why I like living in the countryside and not in town. We'd miss out on many of these sounds I associate with spring, and they are sounds that I thoroughly enjoy. Ah springtime, how I have missed you my friend.

Photography Club Impressions

Tonight was the first meeting for the photography club I have decided to attend. It was exhibition night. The end of this month brings with it the annual show and so many of the exhibitors were displaying their possible photos for the show.

Overall, good group. There is a good vibe there, although it is a tough crowd to please. On the whole however, I have to say I agreed with almost all of their critiques. More contrast, different angle, more/less light, etc. etc. I'll be sure to review any photos I bring to exhibition night VERY carefully.

Almost all of the people who came were older folks. I'd be the youngest one there judging by tonight's turnout. Unfortunately the members I was most wanting to meet did not attend. Many of them hail from out of town and I'm sure it's not easy for them to make all of the meetings. Maybe next time.

There was one person there who does framing and matting professionally, but you know, having done a fair share of matting and framing jobs myself with my own equipment I wasn't totally impressed with her work. She strongly encourages exhibitors in shows to mat in either white or black with either a white or black or otherwise neutral frame. I have to wonder if she is afraid of color.

White seems to make many photos appear washed out, black darkens some too much. Yes, having colored mat or frame does mean it is harder to hang your entry, but color can sometimes make a photo pop in a way that white or black fails miserably in doing. Maybe next year I will have an entry and I can display this fact to other exhibitors. I'm not talking about mat in fuschia or anything hugely bold, but come on, think outside the box please! Even tan would be an improvement and yet still fit the neutral mold.

Moving on, some of the photos were amazing (as I expected). There were terms thrown around that I must spend time researching (HDR for instance) and techniques I had not seen before. HDR is neat, but it makes a photo look more like a painting in many cases. Neat if that is what you are looking for, but I have to say it has a tendency to make things look a little on the fake side. I don't know anything about it, so perhaps there are different levels of HDR application that might not make that effect as pronounced.

There are also various software programs that I need to look into (CS5 for instance) and their capabilities. Apparently some of them are able to work from the RAW image format that many of the high end digital cameras allow you to save images in. I don't know much about RAW vs. JPEG advantages and disadvantages, but apparently the RAW format is more flexible for post processing techniques without losing as much detail.

There was one lady there, Patricia I think was her name, who greeted me and we talked for a while. She is still an old school photography person, preferring to use film and not using computers to modify her images. I admire that, but I think she is missing out on a lot based on what I saw tonight. I have to say I've grown rather fond of knowing that I got the shot I was after immediately rather than waiting until your film is developed to find out.

Something else I noticed, all of the photos for exhibition night were of landscapes, architecture and animals. I was really hoping to see at least a few with people in them. Maybe I'll have to mix it up when I feel I have something worth sharing at an exhibition night. Yes, nature is beautiful, buildings are beautiful sometimes, but sometimes images with people can be a nice break from it all. Not portraits particularly, but you get the idea.

I am interested to see if the next meeting mixes it up at all and also if the professional photographers I had hoped to meet will be there. I'd love to chat with them and talk shop as it were. May 26th is the day for the wildflower class. Places to photograph, example photo shots etc. will be discussed. Sounds great to me. Should be inspirational for my macro lens that will be arriving any day now.

Photography Club

At the beginning of this year I resolved to make more time for me. Well I have done a wonderful job at that with not much effort on my part. I have started a new craft, scrapbooking as mentioned in my previous post, I've read about a half dozen books so far this year, and done a small amount of sewing on my previously deserted quilting machine. Recently I have decided to expand that "me time" even more.

I am a member of a cat club locally that seems to meet only once in a blue moon now. It used to be once a month. I feel as if I am missing out on companionship and commeraderie with like-minded people, so I took steps to resolve that issue. I looked around online for local groups that might have similar interests to me. I landed upon a local photography club and have decided to join. Now that I have a good quality digital SLR camera (and yes, I do still have an old 35mm film one still with all the goodies), I think I'll fit right in.

It meets twice a month, and it is run by a handful of professional photographers from this area. Even better, it meets only about 12 miles from the house! Dues are cheap but pay for entry into photo contests should I have any interest. The first meeting of each month is the member exhibition night. I hope to get some inspiration from viewing other member's photos. The second meeting of each month is a workshop of sorts (usually free of charge) that is headed up by one of the aforementioned professional phtotographers. A technique is discussed during the meeting and sometimes it is lecture other times it is hands on.

I reviewed the meetings they have had since the beginning of the year and am beyond excited to attend my first workshop. Admittedly I will not be interested in everything, like learning about some fancy and slightly pricey software for photographic websites that sounds like it has a built in shopping cart etc. I don't feel I will make use of that since I have no desire at this point to sell my pictures. Yet others that talk about technique (the next one is about exposure I think) should be quite educational. Unfortunately I just missed a macro photography workshop. That's fine though as I just purchased my first macro lens and am as of yet awaiting its arrival at my door. Can't wait to use it!

Last Friday this group met at Garden of the Gods in the Springs at 5:30 AM (I know, I know, too early) to "shoot the moon". Translated as photograph the full moon hanging low over Garden of the Gods. I wish I could have gone, early time or not, but alas I had to take Kiernan into daycare early for class photos that day. Some of the photos from this were astounding. Ah well, next time I guess. In the meantime, I anxiously await the first meeting of this new group next Monday night, meeting the photographers and viewing their work. Hopefully I can contain my excitement until that time!

Scrapbooking Anyone?

I think I keep forgetting that I am the mother to a 2 1/2 year old child. I seem to be coming up with more ways to waste the time of each day away. It is as if I have nothing better to do. My recent interest, scrapbooking, started when I returned from our trip to California. I thought it would be nice to have a way to present it so that Kiernan might be able to look at pictures and remember it. A side benefit being that I would be able to share the pictures etc. with friend as well. Great idea!

So skip forward about 3 weeks. I have yet to even so much as find a book on the subject and crack it open to figure out what I am doing. I have purchased a number of items to help me in the task, scrapbook, themed pages, stickers, glue dots, various scissors with fancy cut lines to them for borders etc. I have printed literally hundreds of photos in anticipation. I am itching, chomping at the bit to get started! And yet, I have no guidance. Merely my own creativity and ideas to lead me. I have browsed a couple of websites that offer tips and tricks. That is the extent of my preparations.

When on earth will I find the time to go check a book out from the library on scrapbooking so I will know what I am doing before I start? Let's not even talk about when will I find time to read said book or actually DO the scrapbooking. Yes, I find time for reading on a semi-regular basis, but I'm already committed to certain other books I have started which need to be returned to their owners when completed.

I have polled a number of friends on FB for information, but received no answers. My requests fall on deaf ears it would seem. Either that or said friends are waiting for me to get antsy and start only to make a total idiot of myself so they can point and laugh. That's probably the more likely answer, and I can't blame them...too much.

If you are reading this post and are familiar with scrapbooking, I would like to request that you share any of your tips or secrets with me! Who knows, perhaps I'll get lucky and find someone out there who can help me out yet.

Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged

I am a member of an internet community of moms. I joined because I was able to search various topics and read previous discussions, post questions and get answers if I needed them, and otherwise educate and reaffirm that others are out there like me that have the same thoughts and feelings. Sometimes we all need affirmation.

I often would read my emails from this list and browse the various questions. Often I would post answers to questions or suggestions, or simply just lurk on that thread to see what the responses were. I say all that in past tense because one person has ruined it for me. I no longer join in conversations or read the daily emails. I've lost my desire to care what I could suggest or offer to help others. All because of one single, narrow-minded person.

A woman posted one day about breastfeeding. I have been there, done that so I read on. She goes on to say how she doesn't understand how moms can bring themselves to breastfeed past 6-8 months of age when she feels that the child should be weaning by then. She posts her comment in such a way as to accuse others that if they don't do as she does that they are obviously wrong and how could you think otherwise.Tells how her son is independent and she is proud and that even though she is expecting again she will do things the same way. Good for her. Really, I mean that. But that doesn't mean that method is right for everyone. Here is her post. Is it just me or is she totally snooty about it? I can almost see her looking down her nose at everyone who disagrees with her, with every word she writes. Her tone is accusatory.

I've been reading some of the stories out there and I rather not respond because I want to stay respectful and not offend other mothers out there. I have decided to ask my own question because this very thing makes my mouth drop and baffles me. Why do mothers nurse their children/babies/pre-todds well after 6-8 months and even after 12 months. To me that can create bad dependancy issues. A child with teeth and walking, let alone potty trained and on table food, that seems a little much to still be nursing. Why is a child still on the breast?! My son is 17 months I stopped nursing round 7 months, I tried back at 8 months but he bit me and it wasn't enough for him anyway. My son has always slept well through the night. There is no way my little boy is going to walk up, sit on my lap drink from my breast. I am pregnant again with my second child and this child will be done the same way, with me stopping on the nursing at 7 months or so. I have a healthy independent boy and I am proud!

I tried to be the bigger person here and not fall down to her level. I responded to her post in a very nice way even though she was rude and obnoxious and deserved every nasty comment I could muster at her. I even posted a link to her post on Facebook and asked all my other friends who are moms to respond. I felt she was/is uneducated and that was fueling her rude post.

This was my response:

Try to realize what is right for you is not right for everyone. We are all individuals and all entitled to our own opinions. Some decide to feed with formula, some breastfeed for short periods, and others decide it is better to breastfeed longer. I used to be of the same opinion you are until I had my first child and was wearing those shoes. Sometimes a change of perspective is all it takes.

There is scientific proof of benefits of breastfeeding longer. Benefits are for both mother and child. Google it, it's out there.

As for teeth, there does come a point in the breastfeeding relationship where that becomes an issue. Babies learn quickly not to bite or they will have to give up the breast. Other people decide to pump out of fear of being bitten.

Some enjoy the attachment breastfeeding brings, and speaking personally it is hard to give it up after a mere 6 months. Breastfeeding longer than 6-8 months does not create a more dependent child than one who is weaned earlier on. My 2 year old son (who yes, in case you were wondering is weaned now) is proof of that fact. He is more independent than most other children his age.

I'm happy things worked out for you so well but again, your decision is yours and yours alone. Please realize that simply because others choose otherwise does not make them wrong.

Every day I go to look at the emails from my list and I hesitate to read them. I half expect other people out there to be as rude as her now (although she has been the only one I have seen to date). I find myself reading other stories from other moms and just feeling that I just don't care. Yes, I might have answers, but I don't feel the need to share anymore. The drive is gone. The desire to participate, gone.

It makes me so damn ANGRY that one woman could ruin this for me, and yet she has. It makes me even more upset that I let it upset me so much. I don't dwell on it but I am reminded of it every time I check my inbox and see the emails from that list. I took a break from it, and yet my feelings of animocity and apathy and such have not receeded at all. I'm starting to doubt they ever will. Was I wrong about this woman? Did I read more into her post than was intended? Am I wrong to feel the way I do? Do I just need to get over myself?

Sensory Overload!!!

Last night I left Beosig to tend to Kiernan and attended a jewelery party at a friend's house. It was...ok. Nice to see her again as we don't see each other often, but honestly I have been to jewelery parties with way better selections. Need to invite her to the next one my usual group hosts. Anyway, I am side tracking.

On my way home, I needed to stop by a store for something for Kiernan's snack day at school/daycare. Conveniently, (perhaps a little too conveniently), there was a Wal-Mart that I had passed on the way to this friend's house, so I swung by on my way home. Wow, what a mistake.

I have always hated Wal-Marts in general. My reasons are many but mainly for those I list below.

• Wal-Mart tends to kill of locally owned businesses. No small business owner can compete with their prices. They purchase in mass quantities that no small business could dream of affording.
• As a consumer, it is hard to deny the pricing of Wal-Mart is better, and eventually we all end up going there. Particularly during this time of our down-turned economy.
• Something about Wal-Mart seems to attract parents who refuse to discipline their children! Yes I know I have a child, and indeed I have been known to take him with me to Wal-Mart, but I'll be damned if you will see me standing in line with him while he has a temper tantrum and all the while I pretend nothing is happening. No way I say! Yet this seems to be a very common occurrence, and in my experience the tendency for this to occur always is greatly increased at Wal-Mart over other stores. Anyone care to offer theories as for why this happens? I'd love to hear them.

Anyway, as I was saying, I swung by this convenient Wal-Mart on my way home. It looked fairly normal on the outside, but as I walked through the last sliding door to the inside, I was overwhelmed. Never before in my life can I say I was struck with what I can only describe as sensory overload, but that is what happened to me at that moment.

The store was lit by an unmeasurable number of bright white lights. No, not the normal bright lights in a store, think hospital bright. It made the store seem unbearably bright. Perhaps almost like standing in a spotlight, only without the heat and the entire store is lit up to the same degree. The assault did not end there. As I continued to evaluate my surroundings I found every direction I looked in I was facing a number of flat screen TV's.

Now, I know in the Wal-Mart stores I had been in prior to this there were a few of these flat screen TV's advertising various products followed by a Wal-Mart ad. I'm ok with that to a point, I guess. This store went way beyond that.

There was a flat screen TV on every end cap, above the fruit, above the stand-alone meat refrigerator, literally EVERYWHERE I looked. They were not running the same thing on all of them, oh no, that would be too easy to ignore. Instead, each end cap was running an ad for the item on display there. Deodorant here, lotion there, fruit over there, pharmacy ads near the pharmacy window, meat recipe ideas over the meat refrigerator, the list goes on and on. There were so many things playing on these flat screens that I didn't know what to pay attention to. All of them were in very close proximity to each other as well, only making things worse.

Interestingly, once I realized what I was faced with, I had only two things on my mind. Find the one item I came in for as quickly as I can and leave the place, never to return. Sensory overload makes that difficult though. It took me probably twice as long and with all of the distractions in the store it made it hard to keep a single train of thought. I seriously hope that this Wal-Mart I stumbled upon does not become the norm in other stores. I wonder if maybe the idea behind this arrangement was to make people get done with their shopping more quickly, that would make sense. I will have to do some research on human behavior to figure that one out.

A Childhood Without Messes

A childhood without messes. Can you imagine that? No mud pies, no splashing in mud puddles, no painting, no flour fights in the kitchen. Think I'm making this stuff up, think again. That, in a nutshell, is the subject of this post.

Let me begin at the beginning. The daycare that Kiernan attends planned a valentine's day party. They would be having a pizza party and exchanging valentines with their classmates. In order to facilitate this, they sent a letter home with each child telling the parents things they would need to bring and/or do prior to the party day. One of those things was to have the child decorate valentines to bring to school. Easy peasy. Lots of options out there.

I went wild I guess. After the exchange took place I realized this. Kiernan was the only one who had painted his valentines. *GASP* Paint! Everyone else was either no decorations or colored pencils or crayons, or clearly mommy and daddy "helped" as the level of art was FAR above that of a 2 year old. Am I really that off the wall? Seriously? That's painful to think about.

What kind of childhood is it if mom and dad are so worried about getting dirty that they don't let you play in the mud, splash in mud puddles, or heaven forbid, paint? I'm not talking about sending the kiddo out in the rain/mud while dressed in their Sunday best here.
I mean, just relax a little, let kids be kids. Dirt washes off, believe it or not, and what it doesn't wash off of...well, they're only clothes. They're replaceable. Childhood on the other hand is not re-livable.

New Years Resolutions

I am not one to typically partake in New Years resolutions. I know from watching others that they generally are followed for a couple of months in the new year, only to be broken by middle of the year (give or take a couple of months). Well, this year is different.

Since my post about missing my creativity, I have decided this year will be dedicated to more "me" time. So far, I've put together the better part of a table runner and finished 1 and a half books. Yes, the half does count, dangit!

For most people, oh sure, no big deal. For me, that's a HUGE accomplishment. Especially considering we are only in January still. Let's see what the rest of the year brings and the things I have to show for it shall we?

I have a never-ending list of items to be accomplished, from quilting projects, to cross stitch, to organizing my office and my craft closet. I'm tired of the chaos already! I figure it's time to dust off the ol' sewing machine that I paid big buck$ for and put it to use. Once I finish one project, maybe I'll tackle that organization of the craft closet next.

I've included a couple of pictures of the table runner I've been working on lately, taken with the new digital SLR camera. More to come as it is finished up.