Any Regrets?

Recently, a divorced, single, childless friend asked me if I had any regrets about deciding to have kids. I didn't hesitate to answer no, but a discussion ensued with him.

He asked me if I didn't feel tied down and less able to go do the things I wanted to do. My answer? Sure, sometimes I miss out on things that I used to be able to do any time I liked. The thing is, once you become a parent, if there is something you really really want to do, you simply find a way. Your child becomes an extension of your life. They go with you and you hope you have done well enough to teach them to behave properly, or you find a babysitter. I'd be lying if I said that having the extra money that we spend each month on daycare wouldn't be fabulous.

Sure, I could have more time for my hobbies such as quilting. I wouldn't have daycare to pay for so maybe I could afford to go to cat shows from time to time. I might even have horses by now if Kiernan hadn't come along. But the trade off is worth it.

The way I think about it, everything is just on hold for a few years. I'll get my moment to have the things I wanted, and I will share them with Kiernan if he is interested. Or maybe my views and interests will change, as I have found to be the case in other circumstances.

On the other hand, if Kiernan hadn't arrived I would have missed out on a lot of things that I enjoy with him today. I wouldn't have gotten to watch him grow from a helpless, tiny little infant to the independent little boy he is today. I wouldn't have gotten to watch him graduate from lying helpless on the floor to sitting independently to creeping to crawling and finally to walking and running. Trying to describe the pride in watching that progression is impossible. It simply can't be put into words.

I would have missed out on hearing his attempts at new words and the chuckles it envokes hearing them. For instance cat is mow (pronounced as meow without the e), ow is cow, bir is bird, ello equates to hello, (maybe he thinks he's British? lol) upf translates to up (as in pick me up), ak ga is Kiernan speak for all gone.

I would have missed out on all of his silly antics that never fail to make me laugh. I would never have known the smile that still melts my heart every time I see it and makes every day 100% better.

No, looking back I have no regrets about becoming a parent. It's the best decision I ever made.